GONE WITH THE WIND

Once upon a time an old man spread rumours that this neighbor was a thief. As a result, the young man was arrested. Days later the young man was proved innocent. After been released he sued the old man for wrongly accusing him. In court the old man told the Judge” “They were just comments, did not harm anyone….”. The Judge, before passing sentence on the case, told the old man: “Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Cut them up and on the way home, throw the pieces of paper out. Tomorrow, come back to hear the sentence. The next day, the judge told the old man:”Before receiving the sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday.” The old man said:” I can’t do that! The wind spread them and I won’t know where to find them.” The judge then replied: “The same way, simple comments may destroy the honour of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it. If you can’t speak well of someone, it’s better not to say anything.” Let’s all be masters of our mouths, so that we won’t be slaves of our words.

BIG MISTAKE

A new monk arrives at the old Italian monastery for his celibate life of shared poverty and prayer, and is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying from copies, not the original manuscripts. So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this, pointing out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head monk says, “ We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.” So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours go by and nobody sees him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. Hearing sobbing coming from the back of the cellar, he finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying, and muttering between tears; “There’s an R! There’s an R!”. He asks the old monk what’s wrong, and in a choked voice came the reply, “ The original word is not “celibate” but “celebrate”.

Nice Story - 1

There was a farmer who grew superior quality corn. Every year, his corn won prizes in state fairs. One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbours. "How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbours when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?" The reporter asked. The farmer replied, "Didn't you know?" The wind picks up pollen grains from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my neighbours grow inferior, substandard and poor quality corn,cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn, I must help my neighbours to grow good cor." Success does not happen in isolation, it is a participatory and collective process.

Moral of the Story : Share good practices, ideas and knowledge with your friends and colleagues.

IMPRESSIVE

I expect to pass though this world but once,
Any good therefore that I can do,
or any kindness that i can show to my
fellow-creature,
let me do it now,
Let me not defer or neglect it,
for I shall not pass this way again. "

-- STEPHEN GRELLET

Bihar Driving License

Bihar Driving License


DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
-----------------------------------

NOTE: Please do not Soot the person at the applikason kounter.
He will give you the licen.
For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.


1. Last name:

(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no

Check karet box)

2. First name:

(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no

(Check karet box)

3. Age:

(_) Less than phipty (

Sardar Jokes

Srdr: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got u pper berth.
Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..

Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b
there............. Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there

THE BEST --
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec
a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?

Sardar had twins; he named them Tin Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again d same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED&RETIRED!

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the
Branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Srdr:"I've been
promoted as branch manager."

Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure
as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U know Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It"s already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr
after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!

Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar :- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'..........
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.

A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divi de, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR

Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly
in his
sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d car he was driving..

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what
you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that�s a mirror!

Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for
more..

A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in
the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU Y AN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXYGEN TUBE!"

A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
Every 10 sec a
woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
My Father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said
another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."

Its funny when people discuss over "love m arriage" and "arranged marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".

Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest
waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20
supersonic planes passing! by can't be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara
Falls?"

Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"
He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"

How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard &
comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo
ta ra ra.

Papa : beta har parai stri ko apni Maa samjho to tumhara character
thik ho jaaega.....Beta : Lekin Papa fir Aap ke character ka kya
hoga....???

Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a
Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher
Studies
Yaar...!!!

Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the
field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first

Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.
Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Don't take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my Seat
Interviewe r : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You Appoint me
Interviewer: .......!!!!!!!

Santa: What is another difference between a mosquito
and a fly?
Banta: A fly can fly but a mosquito cannot mosquito.

Banta: When did George Washington die?
Santa: two days before his funeral.

Banta: Tell me five FEROCIOUS animals you can think
of........
Santa: 3 Lions and 2 Tigers.

Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car
in a restricted area. The Judge askd him if he had
anything to say in his defence. "They should not put
up such misleading notices", said Banta. "It said,
FINE FOR PARKING HERE"

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were always boasting of
their parents achievements to each other.
Santa Singh : Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?
Banta Singh : Yes I have.
Santa Singh : Well, my father dug it.
Banta Singh : That's nothing, have you ever heard of
Dead Sea?
Santa Singh : Yes I have.
Banta Singh : Well, my father killed it.

Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?
jab koi ladki shadi se pahle pregnant ho,
Aur uski maa bole "HEY BHAGWAN YE TUNE KYA KIYA?"

Words with Two Meanings

1. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.

2. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

3. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to flirt with other women while out with this one.

4. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

5. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-_ex-pression, and male bonding.

6. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.